Advice to me, from me…

I wanted to talk a little bit about some of the mistakes or misjudgements I have made throughout my life and what I would say to myself if I was my friend (or something like that). I’m still very young so I hope I can learn from these things because I don’t want the things of my past to take over my future. Hopefully, somebody else can relate to this. These are just some of the mistakes I have made:

  • Judging people for their mistakes – even if you are right about them doing the wrong thing, give them a break. Realistically, you don’t know what they are going through in their own head. Please understand their decision, and help them back onto the right path when things don’t go well.
  • Being too overprotective with the people you care about – It is good to care, don’t ever stop loving, caring, and helping, but the people you love don’t always want what is best for them. You can’t save everyone. Say your piece, then let them make their own choice, they will find their way when they are ready.
  • Being too overbearing with people who treat you kindly – just because somebody was nice to you that one time, it doesn’t mean they are your best friend. Accept that not everybody will like you as much as you like them.
  • Pushing away the people you should hold close – however, some people do like you as much as you like them, don’t push them away because you are too scared to get hurt again. Let yourself get hurt, the pain is worth it to find a true friend who will stand by you.
  • The countless times I have felt guilty for being overweight – it is okay, as long as you are improving your diet, getting your exercise, and taking care of yourself, it is okay; the weight will go eventually. Don’t feel guilty.
  • Letting what people think of me control my life – stop hiding away because somebody said you are weird, you don’t have to prove anything to anybody. Be yourself. If people can’t see you for who you really are, you don’t need them.
  • Becoming obsessive about the past – you need to move on. You can’t spend days and nights coming up with things you could have said or done. People leave your life, you can’t get them back by wishful thinking. Talk to them, or move on, or both.

“Forget the past but never forget what it taught you”.


What advice would you give yourself?

Thantophobia

TRIGGER WARNING!

I really don’t want to talk about this.

Lately, I have not been in a good place. This is because I suffer from thantophobia, the fear of death. I have been going through this for the last 5 years, give or take. It is really hard to talk about and I’m not sure I will get through this post without having a panic attack, but I need to get this thought out of my head.

My fear is not the manner in which I die, that doesn’t concern me. I don’t think about that. The fear is what comes after. Generally, I am a very open-minded person. I am not religious or spiritual, I don’t follow any type of belief system, but I don’t not believe believe anything either. I won’t be the guy to say whether or not something is real or fake because I don’t know anything. I know nothing, at the end of the day. But when it comes to dying, nothing can sway the thought of eternal oblivion.

I can’t talk about “would you rather” questions like “would you rather die of cold or die of heat?”, I can’t even consider becoming an organ donor (even though I want to because it’s a great thing to do), I can’t even sleep sometimes because I’m afraid I won’t wake up. If death is like a dreamless sleep, how can I go to sleep knowing that?

Usually, I can somewhat keep the thoughts away with grounding techniques, games, reading, or just consuming myself in some random activity but today has been so bad. The thoughts will not go. I don’t know what the solution is. I don’t see a way out. Death is going to happen, there is nothing I can do about it. I keep having panic attacks; I can’t calm down. I don’t know what to do.

If anyone has advice, do leave a comment. I’ll pretty much listen to anything.

Thanks

Heatwaves, Depression, and Future Plans

Ah, to find the energy to work, I would do anything.

As an update from my last post, the motivation is back but I now lack the drive. Probably due to this incessant heatwave. I can’t take it anymore. I have never liked hot weather, but this is just ridiculous.

I have filmed a few videos for my YouTube but I don’t know when, if at all, I am going to edit and upload them. If I do know one thing, it is that I can’t take these long breaks anymore. It just makes it even harder to come back and get into the system again. So we have to have an action plan.

My plan is basically to post whatever I can. That could be an update, a review, a rant, maybe even a short story – anything as long as I keep working. The second part of the plan is to do videos as well. I have started this by trying to go on YouNow and do live videos to get used to talking to a camera. It’s awkward and it gets harder the less you do it. The third part of the plan is to spend extra time studying, researching, and making stuff. That way, I will always have ideas for what to post about.

I apologise for the absence and lack of decent content. I’m working on it and maybe my next post can be a more detailed look at depression and other mental illnesses.

This post is a mess.

Please leave some ideas for blog posts. Things will return to a normal schedule soon.

Thank you.

Essential Oils and Aromatherapy

I have always been trying out different ways to relax and reduce stress and one of the things I tried is using essential oils.

Believe it or not, aromatherapy can have a huge impact on your body and mind, affecting the way you think and feel. There are many ways in which to use essential oils, and many benefits you can receive from them.

Make sure that any oils you use cosmetically are therapeutic grade, otherwise they may irritate your skin.

Burning Them

How: To burn essential oils, you can get an oil burner or an oil diffuser (see links at the end of this post).

Benefits: Easier breathing – reduces inflammations and congestion, improves cognitive function, freshen the room.

Oil diffusers and burners tend to be cheaper than candles, so you would be getting more for your money. Oils are also more potent than candles so you would be using a lot less, and the smell would fill the room more efficiently.

Room Spray

How: Essential Oils and water into a glass spray bottle (there is a recipe in the links below, I will also be working on some of my own).

Benefits: Simple and easy to make, it doesn’t require a ridiculous amount of extra chemicals. You can freshen up the room and decide what you want the room to smell like. There are no foreign chemicals that are dangerous to inhale, like a lot of other room sprays and air fresheners.

Perfume/Body spray

How: Essential Oils with either an oil base, or an alcohol base. Into a glass spray-bottle. There is a recipe in the links but try to be adventurous and use different scents.

Benefits: Much better for your skin. There aren’t any toxic ingredients that irritate your skin. It will smell a lot nicer and be your own personal scent. It is much, much cheaper than the fancy perfumes that usually don’t smell that nice anyway.

Hair

How: You can mix different oils together, or use just one oil. Simply rub a few drops into your hair (on their own or with your shampoo/conditioner).

Benefits: The main benefit is that you can target specific problems your hair may have. For example:

  • Thinning hair – Peppermint, tea tree
  • Fine hair – Aloe Vera
  • Dry hair – Shea Butter, avocado oil
  • Dry scalp – Chamomile, rosemary, thyme

Side note: Dr Bronner’s Castile Soap is very natural, with lots of essential oils. There are many scents to choose from (my favourites are green tea, citrus, and lavender, to name a few) or you can choose the plain one and add your own oils. You can use it on hair, skin, even to wash dishes.

Lotion/Body Butter

How: 75% solid carriers (coconut oil, shea butter, cocoa butter, etc.) with 25% liquid oils. There is a recipe in the link below with a method on how to make it.

Benefits: Specific to your skin’s needs, with no irritating or toxic ingredients.

Massage

How: Just rub oils into your skin. When you get a massage, ask the masseuse for a specific oil or bring your own blend.

Benefits: You can target specific muscle and joint pains, certain oils decrease pain. Makes a massage more smooth and relaxing, and leaves your skin feeling soft and hydrated after.

The added benefit to using homemade products is that you know that there is no animal products and no animal testing going into the things you use. Making any product you make vegan friendly.


QOTD: What essential oils work best for you? How do you use it? Where do you buy it?


Sources and further reading:

Getting Through a Panic Attack

Sometimes panic attacks are caused by overthinking and sometimes, you have no idea why it’s happening. These are some techniques to reduce anxiety and, hopefully, stop a panic attack in its tracks.

Disclaimer: Everybody is different so all of these might work for one person, while none of them work for another person.

Technique #1: Deep Breathing

Inhale for 3 seconds, exhale for 3 seconds. Repeat that 10 times. Regulating your breathing, lowers your heart rate, and automatically calms you down.

Make sure you breathe using the whole of your lungs. To do that, lay on your back and take deep breaths. Your tummy should expand as you inhale, and shrink as you exhale.

Technique #2: Redirecting Thoughts

What many people try to do is distract themselves with TV. The reason this doesn’t work is because watching TV doesn’t require a lot of brain activity, so you still think about the problem. You are telling yourself not to think about it, so you think about it more.

Redirecting thoughts is different. Instead of trying not to think about the problem, do an activity that requires your full attention. This way, your brain doesn’t have a chance to overthink things.

Some ideas: writing, painting, playing an instrument, sports, tidying the house.

Technique #3: Grounding Techniques

Grounding works well because most panic attacks are a worry about the past or the future. Grounding tries to bring you back to the present. There are 2 good methods.

The first is the 5-4-3-2-1 method. It works like this:

  • 5 things you can see
  • 4 things you can touch
  • 3 things you can hear
  • 2 things you can smell
  • 1 thing you can taste

The other method is to list 5 things to do with a certain category. The What’s Up – Mental Health App is good for this.

For example: 5 football teams, 5 colours, 5 songs by Madonna, etc…

 

QOTD: What method(s) do you use to get out of a panic attack?

 


 

Sources and further reading:

Apps and Websites for Mental Health

7 Cups Of Tea (website and app)

A personal growth path which gives you daily activities, such as, listing some things you are grateful for, a 5 minute meditation, motivational videos, and self-help guides that give you information on how to deal with whatever you are going through.

There are also forums where you can help people and share your progress, a 1-on-1 chat with a volunteer listener (kind of like an online helpline), and group discussions where you can talk to people in similar situations.

Headspace (website and app)

Guided meditation. Features include: 2 10-day meditation programmes. More is available with subscription.

Subscription fees: 1 Month = £9.99 ($12.95), 1 Year = £5.99 ($7.99) p/m, 2 years = £4.99 ($6.24) p/m, forever = £299.99 ($419.95)

Included in subscription: Specific meditation techniques for whatever issue you are dealing with.

What’s Up? – Mental Health App

Helpful for dealing with depression, anxiety, and stress. Features include: grounding techniques, breathing techniques, forums, and information about anger, anxiety, depression, self esteem, and stress.

This list will keep being edited and expanded as I find new apps and websites, so be sure to comment anything that works for you.