I always see the negative in life. It is just the louder part. If 99 people hug you and one person punches you, you don’t remember the 99 positives, you always remember the 1 negative. So I wanted to make a list of things that happened this year that are positive. That way, I always have this post to look back on.
- The Unicorn cake. It was one of the biggest, most exhausting projects I’ve ever done (especially at a time where my energy levels are crazy low) and it really paid off. Experiences like that is what makes everything worth it. It may not seem like a lot to some people but it was a lot for me. It was my passion for baking, art, and hard work all being used. Hopefully, I can do stuff like this again next year. Big projects with planning and work that pays off into this masterpiece (which I don’t think is too grandiose a term).
- Lip piercing. Much like the tattoo I got last year, this piercing is something I have wanted for many years. Actually 7 years. Ever since I started watching WWE again after a 2 year break back in 2011. I turned on the screen and, immediately, CM Punk became my favourite ever. I agreed with everything he stood for in and out the ring and absolutely idolised him (a childish trait I later grew out of). Ever since then, I wanted a piercing in the same place as he has his. And even though I haven’t thought much about him in the last few years since I stopped watching WWE so much and he left, I still really wanted the piercing for more than just CM Punk. It just became part of who I want to be, it means a lot to me, and it looks really cool.
- I kept this blog going. In regular me fashion, I would have already given up hope on this blog, tried out a new name for me to go by, gotten bored of my usernames, and deleted most of my social media. For some reason, I didn’t this year. Maybe because I feel settled and comfortable with Raven so everything with that name feels right and falls into place, maybe because this time this blog is actually talking about things that are really important to me, maybe because I am so fed up with not doing anything with my life that I am now determined to complete my goals. I’m not sure but what I can say is:
- Who I am feels right. I have been confused and I have hated myself for most of my life but as I have been reading into things and learning, I have learned so much about myself and who I am. I finally understand what I am in terms of gender (or lack thereof) and I am okay with that. I understand my mental state and why I feel the way I feel, for the most part. It’s all okay. I am okay with who I am.
- Languages! I resumed my learning of French and German, and decided to learn some other languages. Not necessarily to become fluent in but just to learn some conversational language. My list right now, in order of priority to me, goes: Japanese, French, German, Greek, Italian, Icelandic, Samoan. All very beautiful languages that are very fun to learn, but also very tricky.
- I have learned so much. Sure there has been a lot of pain this year, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t learnt something every time. People come and go but I will always have myself. I can’t force myself to get better (be that physically, emotionally, or with the skills I’m learning). It takes time, patience, determination hard work, perseverance, and a lot of hope and optimism.
I hope that next year will bring much joy and lessons learned.
Farewell, until we meet again.